Several years ago, my family and I attended a small, rural congregation that was extremely vibrant and faithful. At one point in time, a “contentious meeting” was scheduled with the two congregation’s Elders and the men of the congregation. Upon hearing of the meeting, I had no interest in attending because even as young and immature as I was, it just didn’t feel right to me and I didn’t think I needed to be there for the scheduled meeting. One of the other “younger men” of the congregation called me at my workplace and I talked with him in my room/office space. This brother in Christ was encouraging me to attend this meeting despite my mind telling me I didn’t need to be there. While I maintained dialogue with this young man on the phone and bantering back and forth, I forgot I was talking in front of a co-worker who had a negative assumption about Christianity. My conversation wasn’t encouraging him or moving him closer to Christ!
When my phone call ended, my co-worker looked at me and said, “Al, right there, that’s why I don’t want anything to do with a church.” Needless to say, I was devastated by my actions! My co-worker heard me talking about the problems our little congregation was having while listening to me planning on participating in a meeting that really wasn’t designed to bring peace and unity. I was embarrassed and have regretted that incident for twenty plus years.
Please understand, I am not talking about encouraging “unity” and “fellowshipping” sin or the world. I maintain a stance that we, as Christians, are to seek unity and peace while seeking ways to peacefully solve our problems and obstacles. In the February 2016 edition of the Gospel Advocate, Tim Lewis, in his article entitled, “Essential Ingredients for Maintaining Unity,” points us to Psalm 133:1, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” Additionally, we know Jesus prayed for unity (John 17:20-23). You get the idea, unity is important! Especially within our “church family.” Bro. Lewis reminds us of four areas that are needed to build not only a culture of unity, but a plan for preventing division when engaging with our brothers and sisters in Christ:
1. Humility- Philippians 2:2 says, “fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.” It has been said, “pride divides.” Always wanting to solve problems with a “my way” attitude will soon leave one on the journey alienated & alone.
2. Gentleness– Ephesians 4:15 says, “but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ—” As we seek to engage society and the church, may we not walk around with “our dukes up” seeking to conversationally pounce on someone if given the opportunity. Ephesians 5:16 goes on to reminds us we all have a “share” which means a responsibility to seek unity and Christ and not be fragmented from one another.
3. Patience– Job 1:21 says, “And he said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.” We know Job loses his wealth, his family, his health and wrestles with the question, why? When I seek to be more patient with those around me, I see I fail 99% of the time. When seeking conflict resolution with each other, may we have the patience of Job!
4. Love– I Corinthians 13:7 says, “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” A preacher friend of mine will say, “Some are easier to love than others, but we are to love everyone.” Yes, this can be a challenge, but when we realize the one we are “crossways” with wants to go to Heaven and was baptized for the remission of sins; bearing, believing, hoping, and enduring becomes much easier!
I can’t take the phone call back, but I can respond and not react when dealing with those I may have some discourse with. What’s our motive? To go to Heaven and take as many with us! Remember, someone is watching.
